some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
