i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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