eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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