i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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