She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
