There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
