arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
