my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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