she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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