so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize