he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
