Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Who died my cat blue again?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
