You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
