Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
