I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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