I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
MIDGETS
????
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
