I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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