We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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