i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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