he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
