drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You can't motorboat a personality
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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