Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
