i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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