We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
