sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
