Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
