i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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