Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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