don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
