i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
