You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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