Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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