I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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