I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
