Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
