Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
