I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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