You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
