and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
