my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
