Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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