I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
