Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
And then he peed in my hair
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