He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dicks are not precious.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize