I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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