i already hear my dad disowning me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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