You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
