also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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