I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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