Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he shaved USA in his pubs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize