living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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