It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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