he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we're so committed to being not committed
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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