her vagine was all disorganized.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just got carded by a ten year old.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
