How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
