i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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