That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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