When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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