We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
