We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
