This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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