Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
