none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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