As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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