i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
