It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize