my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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